Post by The Chupster on Sept 24, 2008 2:47:00 GMT -5
Outside the OCW arena of the evening, the Chupacabra has his hands full, moving pigs from a trailer to a holding pin. As the camera pans around the pin, it's clear that these are no ordinary pigs- each is dressed up like a different OCW superstar. Chupa lets out a whoop as he kicks the last piggy into the pin, slamming the door shut. Juan baa's his approval and goes back to eating a can.
Chief Bodega and the Incredible Hulk appear from around the corner, their faces scrunched up. They get a look at the pigs and start giggling.
Bodega:[/b][/color] Dude. Pigs. I toldja I smelled crap.
The Hulk continues giggling, a joint the size of a small Buick hanging out the corner of his mouth, sizing up the four-legged meat. He sets his sights on the Osiris pig, being the largest of the bunch. Giggling makes way for lip-smacking and mouth-watering.
Chupa:[/b][/color] 'Sup, fellas?
Bodega: Y'know. Shit and shit. Smelled your livestock here and had to figure out what the situation was. Hulk, pass it for fuck's sake.
Hulk passes the massive ganjasaur. Bodega takes a long drag and passes it over to the Chupster.
Bodega:[/b][/color] So what's all this for? Did you make those costumes and shit?
Chupa: Nah, I ain't THAT crazy. I ordered 'em. Ya know how fuckin' hard it is ta get sizes fer 28 pigs?
Bodega: That's gotta suck.
Hulk: Hulk... hungry.
Chupa: I figgered, we're havin' our lil relaunch, so's why not celebrate it up with a good ol' fashioned Chupster Family Pig Roast? We gonna do it like my grandpappy, God bless his sole, taught me.
Bodega: Didn't know yer grandpa was dead, sorry to hear that.
Chupa: Oh, he ain't, he's just got a mean-ass attack fish. Gonna be a sad day when that sole ends up in Hell and Grampa Chups hasta deal with Gramma up in Heaven without any protection. So we pray for the fish.
Bodega cocks an eyebrow and snatches the skunky goodness from the Chups.
Bodega:[/b][/color] I ain't stoned enough for a story like that.
Chupa: Anywho, so I got the costumes, I just figgered it'd be funny. Was a bitch gettin' the costumes on though. But it's about time ta cook these bad daddies!
Bodega: Hate to tell ya man, but the whole pig roast thing- well, you're supposed to like, have a hole dug and shit, and some fire in the pit, or somethin'. I dunno, but I don't think you're gonna have time to get these lil doggies cooked before the show starts, right?
Chupa nods, reaching for a nearby bucket.
Bodega:[/b][/color] Dude, is that barbecue sauce?
Chupa nods again.
Chupa:[/b] [/color] M'own recipe, customized fer maximum flavor, based on a recipe handed down through the Chupsters fer, lessee, 4 anna half generations.
Bodega: "Anna half"?
Chupa: I'd tell ya, but I'd hafta kill ya and eat the body. We don't talk 'bout Cousin Grampa Stumpy, it's bad luck.
With a flourish, Chupa starts tossing buckets of the sauce all over the pigs. There is much grunting and running around as the pigs wonder exactly what in the name of Charlotte's Web is going on.
Bodega:[/b][/color] Dude, I dunno, I think ya got some shit mixed up...
Chupa: Trust me.
The Chupster heads over to the trailer and picks up a heavy-ass piece of equipment, strapping it on like a backpack. Meanwhile, the Hulk has began leaning over the railing and licking pigs as they go by.
Bodega:[/b][/color] What the hell is that?
He finishes strapping up and picks up something that looks suspiciously like a gun of some sort, attached to the massive metal backpack. Pulling out a lighter, he flicks his Bic and a starter flame springs from the end of the cannon. Yep, it's a flamethrower.
Chupa:[/b][/color] This here's m'fuckin' speed cooker, bitch.
Bodega screams. Flames erupt. Squeals fill the air. The Hulk loses some taste buds and eyebrows. And the camera mercifully fades to black...
Chief Bodega and the Incredible Hulk appear from around the corner, their faces scrunched up. They get a look at the pigs and start giggling.
Bodega:[/b][/color] Dude. Pigs. I toldja I smelled crap.
The Hulk continues giggling, a joint the size of a small Buick hanging out the corner of his mouth, sizing up the four-legged meat. He sets his sights on the Osiris pig, being the largest of the bunch. Giggling makes way for lip-smacking and mouth-watering.
Chupa:[/b][/color] 'Sup, fellas?
Bodega: Y'know. Shit and shit. Smelled your livestock here and had to figure out what the situation was. Hulk, pass it for fuck's sake.
Hulk passes the massive ganjasaur. Bodega takes a long drag and passes it over to the Chupster.
Bodega:[/b][/color] So what's all this for? Did you make those costumes and shit?
Chupa: Nah, I ain't THAT crazy. I ordered 'em. Ya know how fuckin' hard it is ta get sizes fer 28 pigs?
Bodega: That's gotta suck.
Hulk: Hulk... hungry.
Chupa: I figgered, we're havin' our lil relaunch, so's why not celebrate it up with a good ol' fashioned Chupster Family Pig Roast? We gonna do it like my grandpappy, God bless his sole, taught me.
Bodega: Didn't know yer grandpa was dead, sorry to hear that.
Chupa: Oh, he ain't, he's just got a mean-ass attack fish. Gonna be a sad day when that sole ends up in Hell and Grampa Chups hasta deal with Gramma up in Heaven without any protection. So we pray for the fish.
Bodega cocks an eyebrow and snatches the skunky goodness from the Chups.
Bodega:[/b][/color] I ain't stoned enough for a story like that.
Chupa: Anywho, so I got the costumes, I just figgered it'd be funny. Was a bitch gettin' the costumes on though. But it's about time ta cook these bad daddies!
Bodega: Hate to tell ya man, but the whole pig roast thing- well, you're supposed to like, have a hole dug and shit, and some fire in the pit, or somethin'. I dunno, but I don't think you're gonna have time to get these lil doggies cooked before the show starts, right?
Chupa nods, reaching for a nearby bucket.
Bodega:[/b][/color] Dude, is that barbecue sauce?
Chupa nods again.
Chupa:[/b] [/color] M'own recipe, customized fer maximum flavor, based on a recipe handed down through the Chupsters fer, lessee, 4 anna half generations.
Bodega: "Anna half"?
Chupa: I'd tell ya, but I'd hafta kill ya and eat the body. We don't talk 'bout Cousin Grampa Stumpy, it's bad luck.
With a flourish, Chupa starts tossing buckets of the sauce all over the pigs. There is much grunting and running around as the pigs wonder exactly what in the name of Charlotte's Web is going on.
Bodega:[/b][/color] Dude, I dunno, I think ya got some shit mixed up...
Chupa: Trust me.
The Chupster heads over to the trailer and picks up a heavy-ass piece of equipment, strapping it on like a backpack. Meanwhile, the Hulk has began leaning over the railing and licking pigs as they go by.
Bodega:[/b][/color] What the hell is that?
He finishes strapping up and picks up something that looks suspiciously like a gun of some sort, attached to the massive metal backpack. Pulling out a lighter, he flicks his Bic and a starter flame springs from the end of the cannon. Yep, it's a flamethrower.
Chupa:[/b][/color] This here's m'fuckin' speed cooker, bitch.
Bodega screams. Flames erupt. Squeals fill the air. The Hulk loses some taste buds and eyebrows. And the camera mercifully fades to black...
