Post by The Chupster on May 5, 2017 19:44:47 GMT -5
simmed by Adorable Chuck Bacon
Watch that garbage panda!
As the show opens, the Chupacabra comes out and bitches about the cTn interfering in Justin Case's rectal quesadilla emplacement. He says he's going to defeat each and every cTn member in the ring, and then calls out Manticore, who comes out, cuts a scathing promo and accepts the Chupster's XV challenge for later tonight!
Opening Match:
Monn' Joogra vs. Johnny Super
More one-sided than I would've expected, with Johnny Super kicking most of the ass in this match. Monn' Joogra managed to hit the Zombified (tombstone) piledriver around the middle of the match, and got the powerbomb into a boston crab later on, but Johnny managed to hit a couple of his Fists of the North Star (looping palm strike) and the Psycho Crusher (end of days) for some close pinfalls. In the end Johnny hit a forearm off the top and a chop to the noggin and managed to get the pinfall.
Winner, Johnny Super!
X-Violence Rules No Holds Barred Women's #1 Contender:
Lady Bloodraven vs. Tiffany Slyvinia
Well this one wasn't very long! Bloodraven gets out of the ring quick and Tiffany goes out the other side. Tiffany gets a chair and they both get back in, just for Tiffany to waffle Bloodraven with it, then toss it out of the ring. Both women go outside and Bloodraven is in control, taking it to Tiffany- for about a minute. Tiffany takes over and keeps hitting moves, incidentally on the chair, and she just dominates all over Bloodraven. Bloodraven mounts a brief comeback, but soon after Tiffany gets her in the ring, hits the Cherry Popper (low blow), a knee to the face for 2, and the Starry Knight (shining wizard) to pick up the 1, 2, 3.
Winner and new #1 contender, Tiffany Slyvinia!
Jim Stackhouse vs. James "Teabag" Douglas
Good, solid, competitive match, but Stackhouse kept going for the submission-style moves without hitting any real high-impact offense to wear Teabag down. That said, it took 4 olympic slams, 2 back suplexes off the top rope, and at least 3 accolades to keep Stackhouse down for the count. Stackhouse got in a couple of torture racks alongside the other offense, but he just needed to do more damage before trying to wear the big man down.
Winner, Teabag!
United States #1 Contender:
"Bandit" Eric Wilson vs. CK One
Competitive match, CK One knocks Bandit over the rope early on and spears him to the outside, but once he gets outside, Bandit takes over. Bandit gets him back around the 6 or 7 count and the two trade offense, but CK One gets in most of it. Bandit hits the Bloodline (pedigree) and I thought that was it, but he only gets a two! CK One comes back and hits the Buckle Up (buckle bomb) and the CheCKmate (perfectplex) and it's 1, 2, 3!
Winner and new United States #1 contender, CK One!
Suck This! vs. the Sinner Twins
Absolutely AWESOME tag team match with both teams doin' it up right! Things are just back and forth, and around the middle Adam gets a Lash Laugh (rock bottom) for 2. The Sinner Twins control a lot of the pace and at one point, Johnny becomes obsessed with using the Sinner Twins' corner to hit some middle rope move, and twice he eats Matthias's left hand for it, then he finally gets to the second rope and Matthias sweeps his leg out from under him. LOL.
Johnny Grey hits his rko finisher, busting open Matthias, and pins! Alex tries to make the save but somehow misses, and it's 1, 2, 3! GREAT friggin' match!!!
Winners, Suck This!
X-Violence Falls Count Anywhere Rules Grudge Match:
The Tarantula vs. Justin Case
Wow, I was expecting this to be a knock-down, drag-out fight, but instead it's mostly just Justin Case beating the shit out of the Tarantula. I definitely don't see the Tarantula getting another World Title shot anytime soon, considering that the last 2 matches with Justin Case have seen Tarantula solidly getting his spider-ass stomped.
The Tarantula just suddenly decides to go outside and hops the barrier. Justin follows and they fight briefly, but the Tarantula knocks Justin back over the barricade and follows. Justin nails him and hits a standing shooting star press, then the Case Closed (gun stun) and pins for 1, 2, 3. FOCK.
Winner, Justin Case!
Rebel Raynes vs. Bloodraven
Lots of back and forth in this match of all sorts- Bloodraven with his kicks, Rebel with his Rabid Squirrel Kung Fu. I mean, I just don't know what else to call his offense.
They get to the outside and Bloodraven takes over, and manages to hit a corkscrew legdrop to the barricade! So awesome.
Back inside, Rebel takes over and puts him down, hits a standing shooting star press and gets the win. Rebel really dominated a lot of that match and just put Bloodraven away. Wow.
Winner, Rebel Raynes!
World Championship #1 Contender Match:
Riley Taylor vs. Dragune
Yet another solid match with back and forth offense throughout, and it looked pretty even until Dragune hit the Dragon's Wrath (combination 6), and I thought that was the beginning of the end. But he never followed it up with a finisher, and Riley managed to rally (see what I did there? LOL), get his comeback and hit a RileDriver (samoan driver) and the Taylornado (snap swing neckbreaker) to secure a victory. Holy shit folks, both members of the Moonlight Army are #1 contenders!!!
Winner and World Championship #1 contender, Riley Taylor!
X-Violence No Holds Barred Rules Grudge Match:
The Chupacabra vs. Manticore
A lot of offense from both guys, but honestly, it looked like Manticore's match. The first half of the match he was getting in more than his share of offense, even nailing the Shut That Shit Down (pop-up powerbomb) for 2.
But Chupa managed to turn a Malicious Intent (attitude adjustment) attempt into an impaler ddt and got off a Decrapitator (swinging neckbreaker) out of nowhere. Too early for a win, the Chupster hit a Flight of the Beerbellied Buttfucker (falcon arrow) off the top rope, then hit two more throughout the course of the match, and the last one was enough for the 1, 2, 3.
No holds barred, my ass. Not one rule was broken. This was a straight-up wrestling match. DAMMIT!!!
Winner, the Chupacabra!
Women's Championship Defense:
Isis vs. Ashley Ace ©
Yeah, this one went about how you'd expect. Isis pretty much got blasted. She did manage to get off her lucky 13 signature and the Supplicator (calf crusher), but she got it right up against the ropes, so that was useless. Ashley hit the Ace Flip (standing shirinui) early in the match and nailed the Ace of Hearts (rko) for the win!
Winner and still OCW Women's Champion, Ashley Ace!
Nontitle Match:
Werwulf vs. "The Rage" Sean Callous
The Rage starts off dominant as hell, for like a minute, but then decides to take a breather in the corner to look cool, and that's when it goes straight to hell. Werwulf gets his wind and comes after the Rage hard. The Rage manages to fight back some, but Werwulf hits the Mark of the Beast (trouble in paradise) into a double leg ddt, into a nonchalant pin that almost gets a three! Werwulf stalks him, hits the Spinal Tap, and the champ stays down for the 3!
Very short match, just holy shit!
Winner, Werwulf!
OCW X-Violence TLC Rules Championship Defense:
Minion vs. Matty Ace ©
Minion pretty much destroys Matty for the first few minutes, and gets a ladder into the ring. Matty comes back with a few moves, but it's Minion up the ladder first, and he gets a long time with that damn clasp. Matty runs up the other side of the ladder and clocks Minion right in the dick, then punches him in the pubic area a few more times for good measure.
The two fight on top of the ladder fisticuffs-style, but Matty takes over and just wails on Minion like he said something about dear ol' Granny Ace, and Minion falls. Matty climbs to the top of the ladder and hits a huge moonsault on Minion!!! He slowly climbs the ladder and gets all the time he needs with the belt. Minion takes forever getting to his feet, and once he does, he just stands for a moment and watches as Matty gets the belt loose, winning the match!
Winner and still OCW X-Violence Champion, Matty Ace!
