Post by GFY on Aug 7, 2017 19:37:31 GMT -5
At the end of the show podcast, Alita Lower is getting ready to start her introduction to what or whomever she was going to talk about. As she inhales a deep breath, swallowing back some nerves, she indicates for the cameras to start rolling. They give her the '5-4-3-2....' She smiles, raises the microphone to her mouth, fully prepared now. As she opens her yapper to begin, the microphone is snatched from her hands with a quick swipe. Jay O'Neil, in his traditional douche-inspired garb was was standing there, looking a little less than amused.
That'll do, Donkey, that'll do.
He says in his absolute worst attempt at a Scotish accent. Jay reaches out and adjust the camera so it's focused of him and him only. He quickly brushes off his puffy vest jacket before continuing.
You have got to be fuckin' kidding me here, man. You really have got to be fucking kidding me. Like, bro, I'm waiting for Ashton Kishtits or whoever the fuck was on that MTV Prank show to be walking out here right now. I'm disgraced.
The Mega Heel shakes his head in pure disgust.
Ladies and gentlemen, listen up. Management, take note. The boys out back? Keep tuning in here. I need to make it loud and clear to you that there was a ROYAL fuck up tonight. You wanted to see the Mega Heel, and the Mega Heel not only came but delivered. You all wanted to see some doofus, one of the fuckwits on the roster get planted with a juicy Superkick, and as it was described, I launched a Goddamn head into the 15th fucking row. Everyone that's anyone in the world of wrestling wanted to see the Mega Heel FINALLY land the coveted GFY Driver in the big times. Someone came into Dr. Mega Heel with a prescription to fucking badassery, and not only did I deliver, but I gave you a Goddamn frequent flyers discount. I was the match out there. I didn't try, I did't break a sweat. I did what I needed to do at the very minimum, but I still made an Academy Award out of a bag of stinky trash here, folks.
Where we really fucked up is thinking that THE MEGA HEEL is an opening act. I get I was bogged down by a competitor that could really only pull off 7/8's of sweet fuck all. I get that nobody wanted to see Bysin, so I can't exactly be the main event.. But damn you if you think you're going to book Jay O'Neil in the opening slot. Do I not radiate perfection? Are you really going to put that in the opening slot? The opening slot, really?
The opening spot?
Jay scoffs at the idea.
Try it again and I'll find the booker. I'll find the powers that be. I'll Superkick you all into oblivion. I'll start handing out GFY Driver's like they're parking tickets out front of the local bar after a raging night on the town. I'll slap anyone who needs a fixin' with a Mega Heel Lock until things go pop where things shouldn't go pop, you feeling me? I don't care about the love, but I damn well deserve my respect after going undefeated so far in my OCW career!
You could probably feel the collective "BOO" after Jay had the nuts to call a 1-0 record "undefeated". He licks his lips, which quickly forms into a smile.
I told you I was coming, and I'll keep coming 'til all the gold is mine.
He looks at Alita Lower, who was still standing there looking dumbfounded. He shoves the microphone back at her, squishing it directly between her ta-tas. She's quick to recover from the heave. She glares at the Mega Heel as he storms off, rambling to himself..
Fake ass titties... Get some real titties, bitch. Ain't everyone perfect but fuck, what a terrible boob job. Have mercy.
That'll do, Donkey, that'll do.
He says in his absolute worst attempt at a Scotish accent. Jay reaches out and adjust the camera so it's focused of him and him only. He quickly brushes off his puffy vest jacket before continuing.
You have got to be fuckin' kidding me here, man. You really have got to be fucking kidding me. Like, bro, I'm waiting for Ashton Kishtits or whoever the fuck was on that MTV Prank show to be walking out here right now. I'm disgraced.
The Mega Heel shakes his head in pure disgust.
Ladies and gentlemen, listen up. Management, take note. The boys out back? Keep tuning in here. I need to make it loud and clear to you that there was a ROYAL fuck up tonight. You wanted to see the Mega Heel, and the Mega Heel not only came but delivered. You all wanted to see some doofus, one of the fuckwits on the roster get planted with a juicy Superkick, and as it was described, I launched a Goddamn head into the 15th fucking row. Everyone that's anyone in the world of wrestling wanted to see the Mega Heel FINALLY land the coveted GFY Driver in the big times. Someone came into Dr. Mega Heel with a prescription to fucking badassery, and not only did I deliver, but I gave you a Goddamn frequent flyers discount. I was the match out there. I didn't try, I did't break a sweat. I did what I needed to do at the very minimum, but I still made an Academy Award out of a bag of stinky trash here, folks.
Where we really fucked up is thinking that THE MEGA HEEL is an opening act. I get I was bogged down by a competitor that could really only pull off 7/8's of sweet fuck all. I get that nobody wanted to see Bysin, so I can't exactly be the main event.. But damn you if you think you're going to book Jay O'Neil in the opening slot. Do I not radiate perfection? Are you really going to put that in the opening slot? The opening slot, really?
The opening spot?
Jay scoffs at the idea.
Try it again and I'll find the booker. I'll find the powers that be. I'll Superkick you all into oblivion. I'll start handing out GFY Driver's like they're parking tickets out front of the local bar after a raging night on the town. I'll slap anyone who needs a fixin' with a Mega Heel Lock until things go pop where things shouldn't go pop, you feeling me? I don't care about the love, but I damn well deserve my respect after going undefeated so far in my OCW career!
You could probably feel the collective "BOO" after Jay had the nuts to call a 1-0 record "undefeated". He licks his lips, which quickly forms into a smile.
I told you I was coming, and I'll keep coming 'til all the gold is mine.
He looks at Alita Lower, who was still standing there looking dumbfounded. He shoves the microphone back at her, squishing it directly between her ta-tas. She's quick to recover from the heave. She glares at the Mega Heel as he storms off, rambling to himself..
Fake ass titties... Get some real titties, bitch. Ain't everyone perfect but fuck, what a terrible boob job. Have mercy.