Post by The Chupster on Aug 21, 2017 14:18:00 GMT -5
simmed by Adorable Chuck Bacon
Watch that muggerfugger!!!
X-Violence Extreme Rules:
Ed Hong Toms vs. "The Main Event" Adam Riley
Weird. Fucking. Match. Adam Riley dominates the first half + of this match. The match goes to the outside, where Ed gets a kendo stick and the Main Event batters him with it. The match heads back into the ring and Ed slides out to get a baseball bat and the two fight over it, but Adam gets clocked. Ed hits the Reverse Spinning Double Titty Punch (Bubba Ray combination)- nailing Adam IN THE CHEST- and it busts Adam open! Ed pins and 1, 2, 3- Ed apparently hit him with a punch that connects in the chest and contains enough power to explode your forehead! Holy shit!!!
Winner, Ed Hong Toms!
The Elite (Kain & Teabag) vs. The Lubey Bros.
Back and forth match that seemed to largely favor the Lubeys, especially after Dragune just beats the absolute piss out of Kain. I mean, he fucked him up. That's the only way to say it. Rebel hits a beautiful hurricanrana on but Kain gets up and hits the Executioner (chokeslam), and then it's Teabag running interference to keep Dragune from the save! Awesome match!
Winners, the Elite!
Ashley Ace & Kennedy Smoke vs. Midnight Blue & Bloodraven
Lots of back-and-forth in this one, and Ashley and Bloodraven traded near-falls, with Ashley hitting the Ace Flip (standing shirinui) and Ace of Hearts (rko), but Bloodraven getting a 1-count with a Fatal Shot (superkick). Midnight Blue comes in and hits her second Midnight Driver of the night, and Ashley stays down, 1, 2, 3!
Winners, Sadistic Tendencies!
"Mega Heel" Jay O'Neil vs. CK One
Wow. Good offense on both sides but CK One was definitely in the driver's seat for a good while. He attempts the CKO but O'Neil swats him away. The Mega Heel hits the GFY Driver (suplex piledriver) and CK One might need some chiropractic attention. FOCK.
Winner, "Mega Heel" Jay O'Neil!
4-Woman X-Violence Extreme Rules Scramble:
Tiffany Slyvinia vs. Mazikeen vs. Lady Godivika vs. Princess Mariposa
Offense all over by everyone in this match and it was a doozy! Weapons were actually involved, too! Mazikeen starts things off by providing a safe place for Godivika to store her baseball bat. Then Godivika and Tiffany use her for chairshot practice, but Mazikeen nails a sweet sit-down powerbomb on Tiffany and Godivika can't get in the ring in time. 1, 2, 3, Mazikeen earned that one!!!
Winner, Mazikeen!
Matty Ace & Minion vs. the cTn (Bysin & Spyder)
Huge, awesome match that could've went either way at any point, finishers just about all around, but the beginning of the end was when Minion tried for the Bisector (spear) and ate ddt fail. The cTn would get in a unicorn stampede and nailed the big man with that patented cTn heat bomb finisher, busting Minion open (!!!), and then Bysin gets the 1, 2, 3 while Matty avoids getting into the ring until it's just this side of too late.
Winners, the cTn!
Justin Case vs. "The Rage" Sean Callous
I have never seen Justin Case get squashed so thoroughly as he did tonight! The Rage just takes it to Justin from the start, and Justin would mount very, very brief comebacks, but Sean just had his number! Urban Legendary Attack (phenomenal blitz) and the Total Taste Removal (sweet chin music) for the 1, 2, 3!
Winner, "The Rage" Sean Callous!
3-Way Dance:
Jim Stackhouse vs. "The Machine" Johnny Grey vs. Craig Helman
Holy shit, this was about as close to a squash match as I've seen in a 3-way dance! Everyone looked good, but Stackhouse looked better, spending a good amount of time taking it to each of the other competitors, and then out of nowhere, he hits the pop-up powerbomb on Johnny Grey, and it's 1, it's 2, and it's 3, and Stackhouse wins a major victory here tonight!!!
Winner, Jim Stackhouse!
Monsters, Inc. vs. the cTn (Manticore & Cerberus)
That one was a doozy!!! Chupa spends most of the time in the ring and the cTn is pretty much getting hammered, but then Core hits a Shut That Shit Down (pop-up powerbomb) and a Malicious Intent (attitude adjustment) on the Chupster seemingly out of nowhere, and Leviathan has to make the save. Cerberus is tagged in, hits the Fatal Shot (buzzsaw kick), and Manticore runs interference- 1, 2, 3!
Winner, the cTn!
Nontitle:
The Sinner Twins vs. the Hand of Darkness
Holy shitdogs. I mean, just fuck. The Sinners get taken the fuck apart. Matthias starts off and Wargoth and the Soulless turn him into soup. He tags in Alex, who gets pummeled by the Soulless, and then it's a tag to Wargoth, the stereo clotheslines finisher, and the Soulless runs interference while Wargoth easily gets that 1, 2, 3. This could possibly be the shortest tag match in OCW history. Wow.
Winners, the Hand of Darkness!
X-Violence Extreme Rules:
"Bandit" Eric Wilson vs. Werwulf
Okay, we've apparently entered Squashville, because Werwulf got in some offense, but Bandit just powered right through, hit the Elite Elbow Drop off the top rope and the Bloodline (pedigree), and Werwulf was THROUGH!
Winner, "Bandit" Eric Wilson!
Women's Championship:
Isis vs. Katrina Locke ©
And once again, I don't even know what to say. This was booked as a "gimme" match. Both women do pretty well early on, but it's Isis locking on a lucky 13 and following with the Supplicator (calf crusher) first. Katrina follows with her setup, the bridging fujiwara armbar, but never gets the Katrina Locke; instead, Isis locks on the lucky 13 again, and the champ taps!
The woman on the very, very bottom of the Women's Division rankings just took out the champ! What in the actual FUCK???
Winner, and new OCW Women's Champion, Isis!!!
X-Violence Championship - No Holds Barred:
Riley Taylor vs. Monn' Joogra ©
Riley Taylor looked good for about 10 seconds. Monn just had an answer for everything Riley tried to do, including reversals. Riley got in a shot with a baseball bat, but it only served to piss off the champ, and he royally slaughtered the challenger. Zombified (tombstone) piledriver for 2, Voodoo Drop (last ride) for 3 and that's all she wrote!
Winner, and still OCW X-Violence Champion, Monn' Joogra!
