The Call Heard 'Round The World
Nov 1, 2017 20:25:49 GMT -5
The Chupster, Werwulf, and 2 more like this
Post by GFY on Nov 1, 2017 20:25:49 GMT -5
The scene opens with the man-bunned one himself, "The Mega Heel" Jay O'Neil pacing his locker room alone. His eyes are fixated on his cell phone ringing off the hook. After the a moment or two, the call ends. The camera pans into the phone.
53 Missed Calls. 17 Voicemails.
He continues his quick steps back and fourth. He finally takes a deep breath and grabs the phone. At that very moment, it begins to ring a generic ring once more. He tosses it to the side as he takes a step back from that piece of vile technology. The ring burns his ears, the dim light from the screen burns his eyes. Finally the camera gets to zoom in and see the contact that's calling him.
MAMA HEEL
He shakes his head. Obviously he's had enough time to think about answering, roughly as long as now 54 missed calls would take. The call ends, another notification pops up.
54 Missed Calls. 18 Voicemails.
Jay looks to the ground, grabs the phone. Once more it rings and he answers. Finally.
So, Mommmmm.....
Through the speaker, held to his ear, a loud, unaudible shreak is heard. Jay winces at the banshee on the other end ruining his ear drums.
JHVM!HMVTDEHVHMMMM!?!
Well.. I know...
HVMDETIBLZIT?!?!?
But what you haven't see-
HMHMHHHHVMHTHEVVVMMMM!?!?!?!?HVWMTMHHHDHRE!?
NO!
HYMGNGN!
.....no, you don't need to... Like, I've... I've got friends now...
JHVM!?!?!?
FVMS!?!?!
Jay shakes his head and puts the phone down, as he does, he accidentally presses the speaker phone option.
You'd best fix this all, Jayson Tiffany O'Neil!
Why the fuck did you guys give me the middle name Tiffany....
There was a moment of silence for the rest of the world, but for Jay, this one lasted a century.
WHAT!?!?!?!
Jay shakes his head once more, slumping in the near by folding chair that was pretty much used to previously hold his puffy vest and aviators. Those items were spewed near the entrance doorway.
Mama Heel, this week is different. I'm in essentially TWO number one contenders match. If me and my frien-- AHEMMM fuckin' idiot partners and I win, we will go on to fight for the the 6-Man Tag Team Championsip!
Well what about the Champion's Challenge!?
Jay looks to the phone, finger hovering over the end button.
Well then I'll win that too, and when I do, you can go FUCK YO'SELF, LADY!
BEEP.
And just like that, "The Mega Heel" hangs up the phone. He combs his fingers through the top of his head, which evidentally was the only place that had hair now after chopping the rest off to obtain the perfect man-bun. As he looks up, he notices a little sum-sum. He notices a man. He notices a wheelchair. He notices his own personal interviewer, "The Mega Interview", Adam LePeiu sitting in the corner. Adam's cowering in fear in his new personal temporary whip.
Jay, I swear man, I didn't hear shit....
...I didn't see shit...
I swear to God man, I do, I swear.
Jay gets up and gives the kid a light nod.
You're alright, Adam, y'know that?
Adam, still missing his teeth, had his knee all wrapped up nice and cozy from The Lowest Superkick EVAR. He wheeled himself one... wheel..back?
I was just, uh, using Tumblr. Like Didn't hear a peep. Didn't see a thing, I swear on it, Jay.
Jay approaches the young kid.
I put my middle name on my trivia cards for you, Adam. You read 'em? Didcha?
The gulp heard around the world.
T...Ti...
Tiffany?
....
....
....
THWIPP!!!
KNNNNK!!!
Just like that, Jay managed a solid two strike combo consisting of a tasty eye poke and a ringing ear clap. The poor kid topples out of his wheel chair in pain.
YOU AIN'T SEE SHIT!
YOU AIN'T HEAR SHIT!
The scene ends with Jay shouting sweet nothings at his defensless personal interviewer.
53 Missed Calls. 17 Voicemails.
He continues his quick steps back and fourth. He finally takes a deep breath and grabs the phone. At that very moment, it begins to ring a generic ring once more. He tosses it to the side as he takes a step back from that piece of vile technology. The ring burns his ears, the dim light from the screen burns his eyes. Finally the camera gets to zoom in and see the contact that's calling him.
MAMA HEEL
He shakes his head. Obviously he's had enough time to think about answering, roughly as long as now 54 missed calls would take. The call ends, another notification pops up.
54 Missed Calls. 18 Voicemails.
Jay looks to the ground, grabs the phone. Once more it rings and he answers. Finally.
So, Mommmmm.....
Through the speaker, held to his ear, a loud, unaudible shreak is heard. Jay winces at the banshee on the other end ruining his ear drums.
JHVM!HMVTDEHVHMMMM!?!
Well.. I know...
HVMDETIBLZIT?!?!?
But what you haven't see-
HMHMHHHHVMHTHEVVVMMMM!?!?!?!?HVWMTMHHHDHRE!?
NO!
HYMGNGN!
.....no, you don't need to... Like, I've... I've got friends now...
JHVM!?!?!?
FVMS!?!?!
Jay shakes his head and puts the phone down, as he does, he accidentally presses the speaker phone option.
You'd best fix this all, Jayson Tiffany O'Neil!
Why the fuck did you guys give me the middle name Tiffany....
There was a moment of silence for the rest of the world, but for Jay, this one lasted a century.
WHAT!?!?!?!
Jay shakes his head once more, slumping in the near by folding chair that was pretty much used to previously hold his puffy vest and aviators. Those items were spewed near the entrance doorway.
Mama Heel, this week is different. I'm in essentially TWO number one contenders match. If me and my frien-- AHEMMM fuckin' idiot partners and I win, we will go on to fight for the the 6-Man Tag Team Championsip!
Well what about the Champion's Challenge!?
Jay looks to the phone, finger hovering over the end button.
Well then I'll win that too, and when I do, you can go FUCK YO'SELF, LADY!
BEEP.
And just like that, "The Mega Heel" hangs up the phone. He combs his fingers through the top of his head, which evidentally was the only place that had hair now after chopping the rest off to obtain the perfect man-bun. As he looks up, he notices a little sum-sum. He notices a man. He notices a wheelchair. He notices his own personal interviewer, "The Mega Interview", Adam LePeiu sitting in the corner. Adam's cowering in fear in his new personal temporary whip.
Jay, I swear man, I didn't hear shit....
...I didn't see shit...
I swear to God man, I do, I swear.
Jay gets up and gives the kid a light nod.
You're alright, Adam, y'know that?
Adam, still missing his teeth, had his knee all wrapped up nice and cozy from The Lowest Superkick EVAR. He wheeled himself one... wheel..back?
I was just, uh, using Tumblr. Like Didn't hear a peep. Didn't see a thing, I swear on it, Jay.
Jay approaches the young kid.
I put my middle name on my trivia cards for you, Adam. You read 'em? Didcha?
The gulp heard around the world.
T...Ti...
Tiffany?
....
....
....
THWIPP!!!
KNNNNK!!!
Just like that, Jay managed a solid two strike combo consisting of a tasty eye poke and a ringing ear clap. The poor kid topples out of his wheel chair in pain.
YOU AIN'T SEE SHIT!
YOU AIN'T HEAR SHIT!
The scene ends with Jay shouting sweet nothings at his defensless personal interviewer.